Helicopter Parents: Hovering Over the Workplace

In education, we teachers a few years back talked about the phenomenon of "helicopter parents."  Here's how Urban Dictionary defines them:

Parents that hover over their children, hawkishly "helping" them face the college learning scenario. It is debated whether or not parents that hover are good or bad for their child's overall development.

They can also be referred to as "Hummingbird Parents."

We had heard stories of how these clingy, pushy parents would call professors to complain about their kids' grades.  (Ironically, I've had some colleagues turn into helicopter parents, with one calling a college professor to find her daughter a tutor and another doing the online regisration of her son's coursework!) 

Well, it seems now that after their kids have graduated, now helicopter parents are following them to the workplace.  Here's a recent story on this parenting horror story phenomenon from Steve Giegerich at The St. Louis Post Dispatch (emphasis added):

'Helicopter parents' are descending on hiring managers

A staunch advocate has emerged to defend maligned employees or put in a good word with hiring managers.

Workplace supervisors report she can be relentless in trying to right the wrongs of impertinent bosses. And no one better extols the virtues an applicant might bring to an office or shop.

Meet mom.

In a report destined to chill the spines of executives everywhere, a global staffing firm recently disclosed that so-called helicopter parents — long the bane of teachers from kindergarten through college — are descending on the workplace, too.

The survey of its senior managers by Robert Half International suggests that most parental intervention takes place during the hiring process.

Still, the meddling sometimes continues even after a child has landed a job.

"It's a lot more prevalent than we thought," says Melinda Alison.

A regional vice president in the Robert Half International St. Louis office, Alison reports fielding more than a few résumés from email addresses assigned to the parents of applicants.

That might signal the age-old problem of parents' inability to let go. But a job market that has forced untold numbers of college graduates to move back to their childhood bedroom cannot be discounted.

Parents "have just spent all this money on school, and they want to get them out of the house," Alison said. "Their intentions are great, but it can backfire because employers want to hire people who exhibit independence, a sense of responsibility and self-motivation."

Undaunted, many parents persist. And an equal number of children permit it to happen.

The Robert Half International report, based on interviews with 1,300 supervisors, overflows with examples:

• The parent who asked to participate in her child's job interview.
• The manager who pressured a co-worker to give his daughter, also a company employee, special treatment when an opportunity for a promotion presented itself.
• The mother who contacted a human resources department demanding to inquire why her son was deemed unqualified for a job opening.

Alison added a personal perspective to the report's findings.

Her father had a habit of leaving clipped job opportunities from the classified section of the newspaper atop her dresser after Alison moved home following college graduation.  Happily, Alison says, her dad's heart-in-the-right-place efforts were limited to the occasional not-so-subtle nudge.

Other parents, unfortunately, seem incapable of exercising restraint.

Part of it could fall into the psychological categories of internalization or projection.

Because, as Alison notes, a lot of mothers and fathers lately know the pain of unemployment.

"There's a trickle effect," she said. "Parents who have lost their jobs are nervous for the future of their children. They know how difficult it is to find a job in this market, so they take matters into their own hands."

Alison has one word of advice to helicopter parents feeling the urge to contact their children's boss or would-be employer: Don't.

In an overly involved parent of an applicant, hiring managers see the potential for an overly involved parent of a future employee. And as often as not, that translates into the position going to the job seeker with, well, a stay-at-home mom.

Wow!  I would be embarrassed if my parents interfered with intervened in my job hunting.  I am so grateful that I had parents who taught me responsibility and self-reliance from an early age.  They taught me to use an alarm clock when I started first grade, they never did my homework for me (helped occasionally, yes), and never called in lame excuses to the school or my teachers when I was irresponsible in getting work done.  In high school, I did my own class registration (which they would check over in the evening, of course), and I did my own college application and job search.  They would kick my butt at home, but I had to do the phone calling, mailing, and job hunting.

Thanks, Mom and Dad!