The economy is so bad that ...
• I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
• I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
• CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
• If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
• Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
• McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
• Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
• A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
• Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
• Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
• The Mafia is laying off judges.
• Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
And, finally...
• I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
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