The Beer Summit: All Is Well in the World Once Again

Australia: Sounds Like Their Politicians Are Like Ours

[Thanks, M!]

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the Ottawa River (Australia). The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said: "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

'"Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been eating?"

"Politicians, same as you," replied the small Croc.

"Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"

"Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the House of Commons."

"Same here. Hmm.... How do you catch them?"

"Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!"

"Ah!," says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an asshole with a briefcase."

Bailout Analogy

[Thanks, V, for this beauty!!!]

Once upon a time, I was invited to the White House for a private dinner with the President. I am a respected businessman, with a factory that produces memory chips for computers and portable electronics. There was some talk that my industry was being scrutinized by the administration, but I paid it no mind. I live in a free country. There's nothing that the government can do to me if I've broken no laws. My wealth was earned honestly, and an invitation to dinner with an American President is an honor.

I checked my coat, was greeted by the Chief of Staff, and joined the President in a yellow dining room. We sat across from each other at a table draped in white linen. The Great Seal was embossed on the china. Uniformed staff served our dinner.

The meal was served, and I was startled when my waiter suddenly reached out, plucked a dinner roll off my plate, and began nibbling it as he walked back to the kitchen. "Sorry about that," said the President. "Andrew is very hungry."

"I don't appreciate ... " I began, but as I looked into the calm brown eyes across from me, I felt immediately guilty and petty. It was just a dinner roll.

"Of course," I concluded, and reached for my glass. Before I could, however, another waiter reached forward, took the glass away and swallowed the wine in a single gulp. "And his brother Eric is very thirsty." said the President.

I didn't say anything. The President is testing my compassion, I thought ... I will play along. I don't want to seem unkind.

My plate was whisked away before I had tasted a bite. "Eric's children are also quite hungry."

With a lurch, I crashed to the floor. My chair had been pulled out from under me. I stood, brushing myself off angrily, and watched as it was carried from the room. "And their grandmother can't stand for long."

I excused myself, smiling outwardly, but inside feeling like a fool. Obviously I had been invited to the White House to be sport for some game. I reached for my coat, to find that it had been taken. I turned back to the President. "Their grandfather doesn't like the cold."

I wanted to shout - that was my coat! But again, I looked at the placid smiling face of my host and decided I was being a poor sport. I spread my hands helplessly and chuckled.

Then I felt my hip pocket and realized my wallet was gone. I excused myself and walked to a phone on an elegant side table. I learned shortly that my credit
cards had been maxed out, my bank accounts emptied, my retirement and equity portfolios had vanished, and my wife had been thrown out of our home. Apparently, the waiters and their families were moving in. The President hadn't moved or spoken as I learned all this, but finally I lowered the phone into its cradle and turned to face him.

"Andrew's whole family has made bad financial decisions. They haven't planned for retirement, and they need a house. They recently defaulted on sub-prime mortgage. I told them they could have your home. They need it more than you do."

My hands were shaking. I felt faint. I stumbled back to the table and knelt on the floor. The President cheerfully cut his meat, ate his steak and drank his wine.

"By the way," He added, "I have just signed an Executive Order nationalizing your factories. I'm firing you as head of your business. I'll be operating the firm now for the benefit of all mankind. There's a whole bunch of Erics and Andrews out there and they can't come to you for jobs groveling like beggars."

I looked up. The President dropped his spoon into the empty ramekin which had been his crème Brule. He drained the last drops of his wine. As the table was cleared, he lit a cigarette and leaned back in his chair. He stared at me. I clung to the edge of the table as if were a ledge and I were a man hanging over an abyss. I thought of the years behind me, of the life I had lived. The life I had earned with a lifetime of work, risk and struggle. Why was I punished? How had I allowed it to be taken? What game had I played and lost? I looked across the table and noticed with some surprise that there was no game board between us. What had I done wrong?

As if answering the unspoken thought, the President suddenly cocked his head, locked his empty eyes to mine, and bared a million teeth, chuckling wryly as he folded his hands. "You should have stopped me at the dinner roll," he said.

Wake up, America!!

Michelle Obama Inaugural Doll: Seriously?!?

Oh, my gosh! Can you believe this???????? The Danbury Mint is offering this commemorative doll of Michelle Obama for $149 plus $9 S/H!!!!!!

Such a deal!

Oh, and it's not available until the fall, but they will take pre-orders.

Ya gotta be kiddin' me!

Friday Funny: Mermaid or Whale?

I got this cute e-mail today and figured we could all use a chuckle ...

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

"THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?"

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they do not have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store? The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good gosh, look how smart I am!"

The Ten Commandments According to Obama

Ha! I just got this in a mailer from TownHall's Patriot Update today! Great!!!

The Ten Commandments According to Obama

After observing Obama on the campaign trail and during his first six months in office, we have concluded that our President lives and governs according to his own set of “Ten Commandments.” They’re certainly NOT the Ten Commandments you learned in Sunday School. In fact, many are the direct opposite! To prove that our conclusions are correct, you will find a link to source documentation for each commandment on the Patriot Update web site. (Check out our t-shirt version below!)

I. Thou shalt have no God in America, except for me. For we are no longer a Christian nation and, after all, I am the chosen One. (And like God, I do not have a birth certificate.) SOURCE

II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, unless it is my face carved on Mt. Rushmore. SOURCE

III. Thou shalt not utter my middle name in vain (or in public). Only I can say Barack Hussein Obama. SOURCE

IV. Remember tax day, April 15th, to keep it holy. SOURCE

V. Honour thy father and thy mother until they are too old and sick to care for. They will cost our public-funded health-care system too much money. SOURCE

VI. Thou shalt not kill, unless you have an unwanted, unborn baby. For it would be an abomination to punish your daughter with a baby. SOURCE

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery if you are conservative or a Republican. Liberals and Democrats are hereby forgiven for all of their infidelity and immorality, but the careers of conservatives will be forever destroyed. SOURCE

VIII. Thou shalt not steal, until you've been elected to public office. Only then is it acceptable to take money from hard-working, successful citizens and give it to those who do not work, illegal immigrants, or those who do not have the motivation to better their own lives. SOURCE

IX. Thou shalt not discriminate against thy neighbor unless they are conservative, Caucasian, or Christian. SOURCE

X. Thou shalt not covet because it is simply unnecessary. I will place such a heavy tax burden on those that have achieved the American Dream that, by the end of my term as President, nobody will have any wealth or material goods left for you to covet. SOURCE

Go here for their t-shirt offer.

Matt Mabe Fighting Two Wars: in Iraq and Academia

I found an interesting op/ed piece written by a young veteran, describing his return to life here in the States, after having served in Iraq. He writes of his experience of studying journalism at Columbia where he faced ignorance and negative stereotypes of soldiers and the military by professors, students, and visiting lecturers (emphasis added).

Columbia Journalism Review

One of Us

A soldier chooses journalism, but his old boss won’t let go

By Matt Mabe

Journalists were a rare sight in Ramadi in those days. We assumed they were holed up in hotels in the Green Zone. Serving as my battalion’s adjutant that summer, I handled the final affairs of our soldiers who were killed or wounded by the boiling insurgency. Every day I reduced broken bodies and shattered dreams to lines on spreadsheets and taped-up boxes awaiting shipment to next of kin. I was indignant and angry. I felt we’d been abandoned by America.

Still, I admired the few reporters who took extraordinary risks to venture out our way. I made an effort to meet them—I wanted to know what drove these men and women. They inspired me. I decided that the next time I came to Iraq, it would be as a reporter. Less than a year later, I was in New York.

Columbia was a fresh start: no uniforms, no one to salute. At first, I relished being among students from different walks of life: lawyers and businesspeople, teachers and activists, creative people with strong convictions and a range of views on every issue. Few of them, however, had any experience with the military. Most, it seemed, had never met a veteran.

Some of their notions about military culture and the conduct of the war typified the simplistic views prevalent in the mainstream media. For example, there was a perception that military service was merely a last resort for poor kids or immigrants; all veterans, some people assumed, suffered some degree of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It signaled to me that the cultural rift between the institution I had left and the one I was joining was more hardwired than I had realized, and I increasingly found myself defending the military against stereotypes.

As the semester progressed, I felt a creeping sense of isolation. I had my own criticisms about the failed strategy that plunged Iraq into chaos, but I was resentful of the hostility from prominent panelists and lecturers at the school that year. One evening, an award-winning photographer presented work he’d done in Iraq to my war correspondence class. During his talk, he ridiculed the hapless officers and scheming NCOs he’d dealt with on his various embeds, caricaturing them with tired labels and silly voices. He even delivered a mocking impersonation of one dim-witted private assigned to protect him.

These were extreme views, yet as some of my classmates laughed that evening, images of the soldiers my unit had lost swirled in my head. Brave men who had died serving a cause they believed in didn’t deserve such desecration, I thought. I sought advice from a professor about how to manage the raw emotions these interactions provoked. Her response, as she later wrote in my performance evaluation, was hardly encouraging: “I would advise that Matt refrain from working in Iraq until he feels comfortable maintaining an emotional distance from his old life, so as not to impair his journalistic judgment.”

Had I made a big mistake? Could anyone ever trust me to be completely neutral where the military was concerned? Could I trust myself?

After graduation in May 2008, I needed to decompress. I interned in Paris and copyedited in Russia. In both places, talk of America’s endless wars was mostly absent. The months-long interlude gave me time to develop my craft uninfluenced by politics back home. I got used to the rhythm of a newsroom, the pressure of a deadline. I’d been out of the Army for a year and a half, and I felt more and more detached from my old life. My earlier goal of covering the military seemed less likely. I rarely mentioned my military service to strangers.

In December, I returned to the United States to take my first reporting job at The Star-Ledger in Newark, New Jersey. I was surprised when, after only a few weeks on the job, my editor offered me the chance to cover the military. The offer signaled to me for the first time that maybe I was through the worst of it. Perhaps I had rounded the corner from an earlier time when my reporting might still have been biased. I took the position without reservation.

My tenure was, unfortunately, short-lived. One evening in mid-February, a day after reporting a story about a star Marine recruiter in New Jersey, I was walking back to my apartment in Manhattan when I got a worried voicemail from my mother. I called her back immediately.

“I’m sorry,” she kept repeating. “I’m just so sorry.” My first thought was that someone had died.

Earlier that day, she’d received a letter from the Army ordering me back for a third combat tour. Just like that. The chance I would be reactivated during my three-year obligation in the reserves was so remote that I had honestly believed it would never happen. Yet it did, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I’d be going back to war again, this time to Afghanistan.

As I write, my deployment is days away. The last few weeks shuttling between training bases in South Carolina, Missouri, and Mississippi have given me time to contemplate my transformation from soldier to reporter and back again.

What I’ve discovered is something people like my battalion commander back in 2007 would do well to understand: in America, journalism and the military are more akin than members of either profession appreciate. Whether they wield rifles or pads and pens, soldiers and journalists join their professions because they are committed to fighting for an ideal larger than themselves, be it freedom or truth or justice.

I’ve come to see this new assignment as the best chance I may ever have to help close the gap between the two cultures. I believed once that my experience as a soldier would enhance my contribution to journalism. I’d like to think that it has. All I can hope now is that the reverse will also be true. 

A thought-provoking point I never considered: that journalism and military are akin. Hmmmm ....

"Culture of Corruption": Lauer Gets Sliced & Diced by Malkin

Michelle Malkin was NBC's Today Show earlier this week, interviewed by Matt Lauer about her latest book "Culture of Corruption: Obama and His Team of Tax Cheats, Crooks and Cronies."



[Be sure to read the viewers' comments below the videoclip -- they're funny! Also, one of them posts and interesting account of when Michelle Obama was on the board of a hospital in Chicago.]

Why Matt Lauer keeps trying to do the "hard interviews" is beyond me. Handsome but not all that sharp ... Malkin trash-compacted the poor guy and made it look easy. Be sure to look at Lauer's expression on his face at the very end of the interview: disdain? embarrassment? Probably just the usual smugness of the elitist Obamedia, feeling outraged by Malkin not drinking the Kool-Aid, and yet horribly oblivious to how badly he just had his ass handed to him.

Here's Barnes & Noble's synopsis of the book (emphasis added):

The era of hope and change is dead . . . .and it only took six months in office to kill it.

Never has an administration taken office with more inflated expectations of turning Washington around. Never have a media-anointed American Idol and his entourage fallen so fast and hard. In her latest investigative tour de force, New York Times bestselling author Michelle Malkin delivers a powerful, damning, and comprehensive indictment of the culture of corruption that surrounds Team Obama's brazen tax evaders, Wall Street cronies, petty crooks, slum lords, and business-as-usual influence peddlers. In Culture of Corruption, Malkin reveals:

* Why nepotism beneficiaries First Lady Michelle Obama and Vice President Joe Biden are Team Obama's biggest liberal hypocrites-bashing the corporate world and influence-peddling industries from which they and their relatives have benefited mightily
* What secrets the ethics-deficient members of Obama's cabinet-including Hillary Clinton-are trying to hide
* Why the Obama White House has more power-hungry, unaccountable "czars" than any other administration
* How Team Obama's first one hundred days of appointments became a litany of embarrassments as would-be appointee after would-be appointee was exposed as a tax cheat or had to withdraw for other reasons
* How Obama's old ACORN and union cronies have squandered millions of taxpayer dollars and dues money to enrich themselves and expand their power
* How Obama's Wall Street money men and corporate lobbyists are ruining the economy and helping their friends

In Culture of Corruption, Michelle Malkin lays bare the Obama administration's seamy underside that the liberal media would rather keep hidden.

Malkin has posted some of the hate mail she has received from Liberals regarding her book, which is #1 on Amazon. Go here to see the vitriol from the tolerant left.

Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit did a humorous interview with Malkin regarding her latest book, with Malkin poking fun at intolerant Liberal racists who don't like seeing a "slanty-eyed Oriental on TV", and Reynolds responding with the notion that Liberals obviously prefer tubby White men to criticize the President.

That's what I've always found charming about open-minded Liberals: they don't realize how horribly intolerant they actually are. Yes, these few whack jobs who sent Malkin hate mail are, hopefully in the minority and extreme; but, I have heard such hypocrisy from my colleagues. They "talk the talk," but don't "walk the walk."

McCaskill Having A Hard Time at Town Hall Meetings

On Tuesday of this week, Senator Claire McCaskill had her district manager Michelle Sherod hold a town hall meeting at Forest Park Community College to open discussion about ObamaCare. McCaskill's people were expecting 100-150 to show up, but hundreds instead appeared, including some Tea Party protestors. The size of the crowd forced the organizers to move downstairs to the campus cafeteria in order to hold the meeting.

Almost two weeks ago, McCaskill's office had called police in order to disperse protestors who had gathered at the district office on Delmar Boulevard. This week's gathering turned into another protest. Here are some video clips I found ...










I wonder how many other senators and representatives are holding such meetings and being met with angry people worried about the ramifications of ObamaCare.

I wonder how those who attend such town hall meetings are being portrayed. As you can imagine, there is an interesting mix. Here's an example -- Open Left (liberal) claims that corporate lobbying organizations are responsible for disrupting the town hall meetings around the country, trying to make it appear that the public is against health care reform. Supposedly these lobbyists are behind the tea party protests.

Gee, I didn't know I was an unwitting doofus for corporate lobbyists and Fox News ... I feel so used ... NOT!!!!

Global Warming: Superstition? Cap & Trade: Its Rabbit's Foot

I've posted numerous times about global warming, being the subversive, teabaggin' heretic that I am. The other day, I found an interesting proposition by
Don Blankenship over at American Thinker. He makes this case regarding global warming: Is it reality, religion, or superstition? Here are some excerpts, emphasis added:

In the Name of Global Warming

In the name of global warming, politicians in Washington, DC are threatening to pass so called Cap and Trade legislation that will handicap our economy and force more American jobs offshore.

Many business groups and leaders are convinced that the best way to advocate against Cap and Trade legislation is not to challenge the science of global warming. They believe that although global warming is not a fact that the "scientific debate" is over. These business elites say that only the "political science" remains. They say it's a "political reality." They also say global warming is a "religion" and that the faith of those who believe in it cannot be changed.

But say what they will, "global warming" is neither a reality nor a religion. It is instead a "superstition." A reality is something that actually exists. Global warming has not existed for at least 7 years. Even the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency's internal memos say it does not exist, and so do increasing numbers of noted scientists. A religion is a belief in a supernatural being, a system of faith or worship. Obviously, global warming does not fit this definition.

A "superstition" is a fear founded on irrational feelings and marked by credulity -- i.e. a willingness to believe in the improbable or the marvelous. It should be easy for even members of our Congress to understand that no projection of future world temperatures is a scientific reality. Even they can't be that credulous ... or can they?

What (other than extremely credulous) could you call a member of Congress who believes that by lowering the standard of living of 5% of the world's population (that includes you, me, and everyone else living in America) that the Congress -- by passing a law -- can reduce the temperature of the earth or lower sea levels? Simple common sense, not conflicted science is required to know better.

Only superstitious, credulous, and pompous politicians would even consider voting for such a bill ... sight unseen! You would have to first be irrational and have unfounded fears of something that doesn't exist; you would then have to be prone to believe in the highly improbable -- and then vain enough to believe you can change the climate system of the earth, even while most of the rest of the world is fully enjoying the benefits of carbon use.

Americans should be gravely concerned that Congress might act to deal with a superstitious belief and willfully and knowingly cost Americans their jobs, increase household utility bills, and increase worldwide toxic pollutants that are being released into the atmosphere. Yes, increase pollutants in the name of the environment by transferring more jobs and industrial activity to heavily polluting countries like China that don't even have an EPA. Additionally, it is naïve to believe that these countries will follow our lead on CO2 reductions since they have not done so for other truly polluting emissions.
...

But the political elites are only one group that is willing to damage America's economic strength and homeland security in support of Cap and Trade. Another group is the business elite. In the case of big businesses, it is not the grip of a medieval superstition, nor is it credulity driving, that is driving them. Instead it is what motivates most business people: profit and fear of government retaliation. Or maybe worse: hope for government favoritism. In fact, global warming - i.e., Cap and Trade - is a giant Ponzi scheme in the making that will make Madoff look like the tip of an advancing Alpine glacier.

Neither wind farms nor solar panels have any hope of effectively (cost effectively) displacing coal, nuclear, or natural gas as the primary energy sources for American electricity. Compelling America's workers to sacrifice more for the cap-and-trade falsehood is simply cruel and irresponsible.

Borrowing money from the largest polluting country in the world (China) to reduce a non-pollutant in order to address a superstition, to create a profit for multi-national companies that happen to be listed on the New York Stock Exchange (making most of their profits overseas) is an evil and cruel abomination. Politicians and business persons who participate in such a scheme, for whatever reason, are insensitive and represent a risk to the American way of life.

Anyone -- politicians, business persons, labor union leaders, journalists, teachers, environmentalists or a U.S. President -- that desires the best for America and its people will oppose Cap and Trade. Anyone who desires American prosperity, energy independence, homeland security, an improved environment, jobs and a future for our children will not be superstitious or complacent. They will not resort to trickery or seek an illicit profit. Instead, they will use a cost versus benefit evaluation based on real-world data to achieve true environmental and economic improvements.

Business people and politicians should be Americans first. They must use real science, truth, reality, and love for their country oppose to "Cap and Trade." If they do not, future American generations will consider them what they will have been - unmindful, unscrupulous, and uncaring. Going forward, we all owe our employees, our neighbors, our children, our constituents and all Americans nothing less than our best and honest effort to find the right answers to real pressing and critical challenges. Global warming is not the challenge of our time. Even if it were, Cap and Trade is the wrong answer.

...

Don Blankenship is CEO of Massey Energy.

Conflicted science, superstitious politico elitists, fear-and-profit driven business elitists ... versus the real human beings who must foot the bill for their insanity ... their superstition!

Cambridge Police Profiling Sphincter-Americans

Iowahawk's recent spoof on the sad but courageous plight of the tenured "Sphincter-American" -- i.e. members of the Harvard faculty. I know I should have shortened what I posted here, but it's too doggone funny to edit! ENJOY!!! (Language alert ...)

Cambridge Police Profiling Still A Grim Reality for Harvard Faculty Assholes

Guest Opinion
by Professor John Evans Evans-John
Harvard School of Harvard Faculty Asshole Studies
Harvard University

When I first learned of the arrest of my colleague Professor Henry Louis "Skip" Gates after he stood up to the fascist jackboots of a declasse, ill-educated Cambridge police officer, I was of course angered -- but scarcely shocked. L'Affaire Gates simply aired, in public, the dirty 100-thread-count table linen of an American culture where Harvard faculty assholes still face a daily struggle against profiling, abuse, and insolence.

It will come as no surprise that Skip's arrest was the talk of the Douchebag Room at the Harvard Faculty Club last Friday. I and a group of colleagues had assembled for our weekly lunch; I opted for their competently-prepared Ahi Tuna Tartare and an amusing glass of '05 Hospices de Beaune Premier Cru Cuvee Cyrot-Chaudron. I had noticed that the Frantz Fanon Memorial Booth -- Skip's long-reserved lunch spot -- was uncharacteristically empty, and asked our waiter Sergio for an explanation.

"Professor Skeep, he no is come today," said Sergio. "I tink he is in the jail."

Our table exchanged knowing glances, for we knew immediately that Skip was only the latest victim of a system that singles out the Harvard faculty asshole for stigmatization and unequal justice. It is a system that all of us knew too well, and provided an opportunity for an open conversation about our shared experiences as Harvard faculty assholes in America while waiting for Sergio to bring the dessert cart.

One after one came the cascade of stark stories: the rolled eyes of our department secretaries. The Spanish language mockery of our office janitors. The foul gestures of drunken strap-hanging Red Sox lumpenproles aboard the Red Line. The frequent police stops on the highway to Cape Ann and Martha's Vineyard for "Volvoing While Asshole." And then there are the insulting media stereotypes, where we are routinely caricatured as pompous, effete, self-important, irrelevant elitists. All, I might add, by a motley collection of lowbrow inferiors, few of whom have ever published in a peer-reviewed journal. Let alone edit one.

Sometimes it even comes at the hand of self-styled "peers" from D-list state ampersand institutions. One colleague recounted the tale of his restroom confrontation with a Texas A&M professor at a national academic conference last year. After relieving themselves at adjacent urinals, my colleague noticed the oaf leaving hastily for the plenary session and decided to gently point out his hygienic forgetfulness. "A Harvard man washes his hands after urinating," he said. "And an Aggie don't piss all over his hands, asshole," came the reply.

A female colleague from the English department recalled a recent incident along the Charles River jogging path during her regular morning run. A confused passer-by rudely interrupted her progress and requested directions, as if my colleague were some sort of lowly campus guide or untenured adjunct. "Where is the library at?" she demanded. Naturally, my colleague took the opportunity to correct her, noting that "at Harvard we do not end our sentences in prepositions."

"Okay, where is the library at, asshole?" barked the interloper. Needless to say, my colleague's daily morning runs have since been replaced with tear-filled visits to the Faculty Asshole Self Esteem Counseling Center.

For untold hundreds of Harvard faculty assholes such indignities are, sadly, still part and parcel of being "The Other." As Associate Director of the School of Harvard Faculty Asshole Studies, I have worked to institute policies to insure that Harvard maintains a nurturing environment for all assholes in our community, be they faculty, students, or alumni. Some progress has been made, such as Harvard's mandatory sensitivity and deference training program for all incoming freshassholes. But such internal programs do little to address the impertinence and discrimination we still face outside campus. Some have suggested that we involve the Cambridge Police Department in an educational outreach program, but in my experience the CPD is among the worst offenders.

Case in point: last winter I was slated to deliver the keynote address for an intradepartmental asshole colloquium at Lowell House. Running late, I temporarily parked along Plympton. As I emerged from my Audi, I discovered that I had captured the unwelcome attention of a CPD officer. "Hey Buddy, is that your car?" he barked.

"Why? Because I'm a Harvard faculty asshole in America?" I cleverly retorted.

"No asshole, because this is a snow route and you can't double park here," he sneered, concocting a flimsy excuse for his continued harassment. "You have to move it now."

"That's Professor Asshole to you, you fascist townie," I explained, tossing him the Audi's remote-start key. "Need a valet? Call your mother at the brothel."

It doesn't take an experienced asshole rights activist to tell you what happened next: my Audi was on its way to impound while I rode to the Cambridge Police Station in the unheated vinyl rear seat of Bull Conner's squad car. To add insult to injury, the desk officer refused my request for a dignified background bookshelf for my booking photos.

Thankfully the Constitution still allows even Harvard Assholes a bare modicum of human rights, so I used my allotted phone call to alert the Dean and the Faculty Grievance Committee to my plight. In those 35 excruciating minutes I wasted away waiting in that stark cell, I wrote the opening chapter of "Letters From a Cambridge Jail," my forthcoming scholarly magnum opus on the grim legacy of Asshole oppression in America.

Eventually my arrest record was expunged and I agreed to meet the loathsome arresting officer at President Faust's office for a conciliatory off-record "beer chat." As the University Counsel had predicted, the lure of free limitless alcohol proved irresistible to the simpleminded Irishman, and he was soon happily signing confessions of guilt and abject apologies. Still, even after he was fired, I was left to pick up the pieces of my shattered psyche.

As I recounted the details of that unpleasant encounter to my colleagues, a few wondered aloud if we were not better served by changing the system gradually. Then our eyes turned to the stately historic portraits of the Harvard faculty assholes who came before us, hanging in silent judgment on the Douchebag Room walls; Schlessinger, Galbraith, Leary, Cornel West, Alan Dershowitz, Theodore Kaczynski. Would these great assholes have accepted complicit silence in the face of crude police insolence? How will we be remembered by future generations of Harvard faculty assholes who will battle future generations of Cambridge police and parking enforcement officials? Where is Sergio with the damned dessert cart?

Some suggest that the election of President Obama proves that America's prejudice against Harvard assholes is a quaint relic of the past. But for those of us who live with it every day, the evidence shows the opposite. And it isn't just Harvard assholes suffering the cold, rude hand of uppity townie privilege. Other, if less endowed, asshole faculties suffer similar oppression; in the southern Lacrosse fields of Duke, in the west coast arugula farms of Stanford, at Northwestern, where ever Northwestern is.

No, we must not be silent. That is why I have used a portion of my class action windfall against the Cambridge Police department to produce a shocking new documentary film, "Asshole Like Me," detailing the courageous plight of the tenured Sphincter-American community. It premiers this Friday at the Science Center. Get your tickets now -- with free beer on tap, demand will be high!

Two Cows

This is an oldie but goodie ... and just as true today, given the current situation.

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to supporta man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which is two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. At night when no one is looking, you have sex with both of them. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

Health Care: The WSJ's Viewpoint

Here's a good piece I found today over at The Wall Street Journal (emphasis added):

A Reckless Congress: Health-Care Bill to Impose New Taxes, Welfare State

Democrats want to ram through one of the greatest raids on private income and business in American history.

Say this about the 1,018-page health-care bill that House Democrats unveiled this week and that President Obama heartily endorsed: It finally reveals at least some of the price of the reckless ambitions of our current government. With huge majorities and a President in a rush to outrun the declining popularity of his agenda, Democrats are bidding to impose an unrepealable European-style welfare state in a matter of weeks.

Mr. Obama's February budget provided the outline, but the House bill now fills in the details. To wit, tax increases that would take U.S. rates higher even than most of Europe. Yet even those increases aren't nearly enough to finance the $1 trillion in new spending, which itself is surely a low-ball estimate. Meanwhile, the bill would create a new government health entitlement that will kill private insurance and lead to a government-run system.

Hyperbole? That's what people said when we warned about this last fall in "A Liberal Supermajority," but even we underestimated the ideological willfulness of today's national Democrats. Consider only a few of the details:

A huge new income surtax. The bill's main financing comes from another tax increase on top of the increase already scheduled for 2011 under Mr. Obama's budget. The surtax starts at one percentage point for adjusted gross income above $350,000 in 2011, rising to two points in 2013; a 1.5 point surtax at incomes above $500,000, rising to three in 2013; and a whopping 5.4 percentage points in 2011 and beyond on incomes above $1 million.

This would raise the top marginal federal tax rate back to roughly 47% or 48%, if you include the Medicare tax and the phase-out of certain deductions and exemptions. With the current top rate at 35%, this would be the largest rate increase outside the Great Depression or world wars.

The average U.S. top combined state-federal marginal tax rate would hit about 52%. This would be higher than in all but three (Denmark, Sweden, Belgium) of the 30 countries measured by the OECD. According to the nearby table compiled by the Heritage Foundation, taxpayers in at least five U.S. states would pay higher marginal rates even than Sweden. South Korea, which Democrats worry is stealing American jobs, would be able to grab even more as its highest rate is a far more competitive 38.5%.

House Democrats say they deserve credit for being honest about the tax increases needed to fund their ambitions. But then they also claim that this surtax would raise $544 billion in new revenue over 10 years. America's millionaires aren't that stupid; far fewer of them will pay these rates for very long, if at all. They will find ways to shelter income, either by investing differently or simply working less. Small businesses that pay at the individual rate will shift to pay the 35% corporate rate. When the revenue doesn't materialize, Democrats will move to soak the middle class with a European-style value-added tax.

Phony numbers. Democrats will have to come up with something, because even the surtax puts their bill at least $300 billion short of honest financing. The public insurance "option" doesn't even begin until 2013 and the costs are heavily weighted toward the later years, but the tax hikes start in 2011. So under Congress's 10-year budget window, the House bill is able to pay for seven years of spending with nine years of taxes. Andy Laperriere of the ISI Group estimates the bill would add $95 billion to the deficit in 2019 alone.

Then there's yesterday's testimony, from Congressional Budget Office (CBO) Director Doug Elmendorf, that ObamaCare's cost "savings" are an illusion. Mr. Obama claims government can cover more people and pay less to do it. But Mr. Elmendorf told the Senate Finance Committee that "In the legislation that has been reported we don't see the sort of fundamental changes that would be necessary to reduce the trajectory of federal spending by a significant amount. And on the contrary, the legislation significantly expands the federal responsibility for health-care costs."

Further on the public plan: "It raises the amount of activity that is growing at this unsustainable rate."

No matter, Speaker Nancy Pelosi is whisking the bill through House committees even before CBO has had a chance to score it in detail. As Wisconsin Republican Paul Ryan put it to us, "We will not have read it, and we will not have a score of it, but we will have passed it out of committee."

A new payroll tax. Unemployment is at 9.5% and rising, but Democrats will nonetheless impose a new eight percentage point payroll tax on employers who don't provide health insurance for employees. This is on top of the current 15% payroll tax, and in addition to a new 2.5-percentage point tax on individuals who don't buy health insurance. This means that any employer with more than $400,000 in payroll would have to pay at least 25% above the salary to hire someone. Result: Many fewer new jobs, with a higher structural jobless rate, much as Europe has experienced as its welfare states have expanded.

Other new taxes, including an as yet undetermined levy on private health plans. This tax, which Democrats say could raise $100 billion or so, would make it even harder for private plans to compete with the government plan, which would already benefit from government subsidies and lower capital costs. For good measure, the House bill also gets the ball rolling on tax increases on foreign-source corporate income.

We could go on, and we will in coming days. But the most remarkable quality of this health-care exercise is its reckless disregard for economic and fiscal reality. With the economy still far from a healthy recovery, and the federal fisc already nearly $2 trillion in deficit, Democrats want to ram through one of the greatest raids on private income and business in American history. The world is looking on, agog, and wondering why the United States seems intent on jumping off this cliff.

I wonder if Congress will be sure to vote for another pay increase for themselves. If they do, We The People need to go berserk.

Hell, we should be going berserk now!

... and apparently some "Teabaggers" did just that today at Senator Claire McCaskill's district offices in St. Louis. Americans for Prosperity and The St. Louis Tea Party Coalition staged a protest. The office manager wound up locking the doors and calling the cops. Check out the story over at GatewayPundit.

CIA Assassin Program: Why The Crying?

These last couple of days have seen a flurry of whining and moaning about the uncovering of a CIA assassin program. I don't get all the hysteria surrounding it. First, the program NEVER CAME TO BE!!!! Second, the proposed targeted killings would have been top al-Qaeda leaders. Wouldn't that be a good thing? I mean, I have no military background, but isn't that what is done when you're at war with the enemy? Helllloooooo! Are people in our country, especially the elitist politicians, MSM, and entertainers, so disconnected from the realities of this world and its evil that we just think we can hold hands with everyone and sing "Kum Bah Ya" and make it all better?

Fer cryin' out loud!

Well, I found today that I'm on the right track with regards to "not gittin'" all the hoopla the MSM and Dems are stirring up around this non-controversy. Uncle Jimbo of BlackFive, a retired Special Operations Master Sergeant now writing and podcasting about the military and politics, has posted a great video on YouTube in which he gives a great explanation of the story, giving us the side we would never hear from The Obamedia. He makes some very insightful points, such as ...

• the difference between assassinating political leaders versus targeted killings of the enemy,

• this is possibly only to cover Pelosi's butt when she claimed the CIA was lying to her and Congress,

• this was a "presidential finding" that was never put to use,

• Panetta is a former house Democrat who now runs the CIA,

• the House Intelligence Committee played politics with this information and released classified national security information to the press,

• this same committee claims they just found out about the proposed program, but it was published back in 2002 in The New York Times (here is the NYT article from Dec. 2002) ... I guess that was when the Dems first released this classified info to the press ... and, of course, the NYT published AGAIN classified state secrets,

• this is all a deflection tactic to pull the focus away from Obama's administration being a total debacle and a lame attempt to throw blame back on the Bush administration

Uncle Jimbo succinctly recaps it with these words: "Politics trumps national security."



I like his line that the Democrats, who are using yet another classified military plan for making political hay, should just "shut the f#@% up about it."

[BlackFive is a great blog, by the way! Check it and its podcasts out!]

Darrell "Shifty" Powers: A True Hero Passes On

I caught this wonderful tribute to Darrell "Shifty" Powers posted yesterday on the military blog BlackFive:

Airborne Hero and Icon Passes On - Godspeed, Darrell "Shifty" Powers

"I could hear bullets and shrapnel hitting the plane. As I jumped out the door, I could see that the left motor was on fire." - Darrell Shifty Powers talking about jumping over Normandy, France, on D-Day.

Many, many of you have sent me notice that Shifty Powers of the heroic Easy Company, 2-506th PIR, 101st Airborne Division, died on June 17th. I had no idea that he had passed on. I have written here a lot about Easy Company and even have an autographed photo (Bill Guarnere) on my desk of the jump into Holland (Market Garden).

If you use GoogleNews (any combo of Darrell and/or Shifty Powers), there are less then ten notices of his death. There are less than four articles about his passing on from "old media" news agencies.

Quite frankly, this is an affront to a genuinely good man. Shifty Powers received two Bronze Stars and a CIB and fought in every campaign that Easy Company was in. He was severely injured on his way home in a truck accident (the irony is that the men of Easy rigged the lottery to go home so Shifty would be first, but he ended up being one of the last to get home after an extensive hospitalization).

This email has gone viral about Shifty:

We're hearing a lot today about big splashy memorial services.

I want a nationwide memorial service for Darrell "Shifty" Powers.

Shifty volunteered for the airborne in WWII and served with Easy Company of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, part of the 101st Airborne Infantry. If you've seen Band of Brothers on HBO or the History Channel, you know Shifty. His character appears in all 10 episodes, and Shifty himself is interviewed in several of them.

I met Shifty in the Philadelphia airport several years ago. I didn't know who he was at the time. I just saw an elderly gentleman having trouble reading his ticket. I offered to help, assured him that he was at the right gate, and noticed the "Screaming Eagle", the symbol of the 101st Airborne, on his hat.

Making conversation, I asked him if he'd been in the 101st Airborne or if his son was serving. He said quietly that he had been in the 101st. I thanked him for his service, then asked him when he served, and how many jumps he made.

Quietly and humbly, he said "Well, I guess I signed up in 1941 or so, and was in until sometime in 1945 . . . " at which point my heart skipped.

At that point, again, very humbly, he said "I made the 5 training jumps at Toccoa, and then jumped into Normandy . . . . do you know where Normandy is?" At this point my heart stopped.

I told him yes, I know exactly where Normandy was, and I know what D-Day was. At that point he said "I also made a second jump into Holland, into Arnhem." I was standing with a genuine war hero . . . . and then I realized that it was June, just after the anniversary of D-Day.

I asked Shifty if he was on his way back from France, and he said "Yes. And it's real sad because these days so few of the guys are left, and those that are, lots of them can't make the trip." My heart was in my throat and I didn't know what to say.

I helped Shifty get onto the plane and then realized he was back in Coach, while I was in First Class. I sent the flight attendant back to get him and said that I wanted to switch seats. When Shifty came forward, I got up out of the seat and told him I wanted him to have it, that I'd take his in coach.

He said "No, son, you enjoy that seat. Just knowing that there are still some who remember what we did and still care is enough to make an old man very happy." His eyes were filling up as he said it. And mine are brimming up now as I write this.

Shifty died on June 17 after fighting cancer.

There was no parade.

No big event in Staples Center.

No wall to wall back to back 24x7 news coverage.

No weeping fans on television.

And that's not right.

Let's give Shifty his own Memorial Service, online, in our own quiet way. Please forward this email to everyone you know. Especially to the veterans.

Rest in peace, Shifty.

"A nation without heroes is nothing." - Roberto Clemente

Here is a clip of the men of Easy Company (Shifty too) talking about heroes...

However, I particularly like this quote from his daughter...in the SWVA online edition:

...Johnson said her father kept a busy schedule up until the end. Two years ago, he visited soldiers stationed in South Korea and Japan. Last September, had he not fallen ill, he would have traveled to Iraq.
He kept a busy schedule up till the end. Two years ago, he visited soldiers in South Korea and in Japan. Last September, had he not fallen ill, he would have made a stop in Iraq.

“I had his suitcase packed,” Johnson said.

Missing the trip overseas disappointed him, she said, especially the worry of disappointing the soldiers there.

“My daddy was a simple man, not complicated and very comfortable with himself and approachable,” Johnson said. “He spoiled us. Right now I don’t feel as safe. I know I’ll never be as loved.”...

Godspeed, Shifty. I'm sure the Jumpmaster has you cleared on the manifest.

Airborne!!!

What a great story! I'm glad it was posted. Now, we just need to be sure such stories do not get lost in a tidal wave of non-news crap. Pass it on!!!

Israeli Warships in Suez Canal!

This is rather alarming .... from FoxNews (emphasis added):

Two Israeli warships reportedly sailed through the Suez Canal on Tuesday, ten days after a submarine believed to be nuclear-armed made the crossing.

The deployment into the Red Sea, confirmed by Israeli officials to The Times of London, came ahead of long-range exercises by the Israeli air force with the U.S. later this month and the test of a missile defense shield at a U.S. missile range in the Pacific.

Israel has strengthened ties with Arab nations who also fear a nuclear-armed Iran. In particular, relations with Egypt have grown increasingly strong this year over the “shared mutual distrust of Iran”, according to one Israeli diplomat.

"This is preparation that should be taken seriously. Israel is investing time in preparing itself for the complexity of an attack on Iran. These maneuvers are a message to Iran that Israel will follow up on its threats," the Times of London quoted an Israeli defense official as saying.

If Israel were to launch an attack on Iran, Israeli naval vessels would likely pass through the Suez Canal, the official said.

It is believed that Israel’s missile-equipped submarines, and its fleet of advanced aircraft, could be used to strike in excess of a dozen nuclear-related targets more than 800 miles from Israel.

Egyptian Foreign Minister Ahmed Aboul Gheit told The Times that his government explicitly allowed passage of Israeli vessels, and an Israeli admiral said the drills were "run regularly with the full co-operation of the Egyptians."

Two Israeli Saar class missile boats and a Dolphin class submarine have passed through Suez. Israel has six Dolphin-class submarines, three of which may carry nuclear missiles.

TimesOnline offers more details:

“It is not by chance that Israel is drilling long-range manoeuvres in a public way. This is not a secret operation. This is something that has been published and which will showcase Israel’s abilities,” said an Israeli defence official.

He added that in the past, Israel had run a number of covert long-range drills. A year ago, Israeli jets flew over Greece in one such drill, while in May, reports surfaced that Israeli air force aircraft were staging exercises over Gibraltar. An Israeli attack on a weapons convoy in Sudan bound for militants in the Gaza Strip earlier this year was also seen as a rehearsal for hitting moving convoys.

The exercises come at a time when Western diplomats are offering support for an Israeli strike on Iran in return for Israeli concessions on the formation of a Palestinian state.

If agreed it would make an Israeli strike on Iran realistic “within the year” said one British official.

Diplomats said that Israel had offered concessions on settlement policy, Palestinian land claims and issues with neighboring Arab states, to facilitate a possible strike on Iran.

“Israel has chosen to place the Iranian threat over its settlements,” said a senior European diplomat.

Oddly, if you check out the big MSM outlets online, it seems like this story isn't showing up in many places. Instead, we continue to be bombarded with such stories as Michael Jackson's hair, the Sotomayor hearings, the Cheney-CIA-hitsquad story (I don't have a problem with trying to knock off al Qaeda leaders ... don't get all the hoopla), more taxes for Americans ... blah, blah, blah. It will be interesting to see if this story starts to get more airtime.

"Che" The Movie Winds Up Being A Major Bust

In December I blogged about movie producer Peter Soderbergh filming a two-part, four-and a half hour epic about Che Guevara, starring Benicio del Toro. (Go here.) Released at the end of 2008, the producer of "Traffic" and "Erin Brockovich" got some Europeans to invest $58 million in the movie. Unfortunately, the movie has grossed on $30 million -- and that's worldwide earnings. Soderbergh now regrets having made the movie.

In an interview with Henry Barnes of the Guardian, Soderbergh lists some of the reasons for the movie's flop (emphasis added):

Lack of funding fuelled his fear. And the money wasn't there partly because of Soderbergh himself. In the characteristically noble pursuit of authenticity he decided to film Che in Spanish, a decision that effectively blitzed any hope of finding significant investment within the US.
...

Soderbergh blames piracy ("We got crushed in South America. We came out in Spain in September of last year and it was everywhere within a matter of days. It killed it.") but it probably didn't help that his film is a foreign-language marathon with an admittedly distant and impersonal lead.

Che seems, in retrospect, like a glorious, sad aberration: a niche-audience epic it would be impossible to commission in these straitened times. Today, the willingness of the studios to take such a punt has all but evaporated – a fact that Soderbergh is more alive to than most.

"I'm looking at the landscape and I'm thinking, 'Hmmm, I don't know. A few more years maybe,'" says Soderbergh. "And then the stuff that I'm interested in is only going to be of interest to me."

It would all sound depressing if Soderbergh didn't pepper his speech with fits of incredulous laughter. Perhaps the last few years – capped by his recent run-in with Sony over his revised script for Moneyball, a baseball movie starring Brad Pitt, that saw him elbowed off the project – have left him punch-drunk.

"In terms of my career, I can see the end of it," he says. "I've had that sensation for a few years now. And so I've got a list of stuff that I want to do – that I hope I can do – and once that's all finished I may just disappear."

"Straitened times?" He gives that as one of the reasons for the failure of "Che?" What about that maybe not so many people worship Che like the Liberal elites in Hollywood. And, why would anyone want to idolize a murderer? (See a previous post here about Del Toro having his butt handed to him by a Miami reporter while questioning him on his hero Che, and go here for a prior post about Che.)

Obama Snubbed In Russia

OUCH!!! I wonder if the MSM will show this .... I am rather taken aback at how rude this is. I, too, would be pissed if I were Obama.

But, it is kinda funny, ain't it?

Swearing Is Good For Me! ... Maybe ...

I am trying to quit swearing, since at times I "swear" I cuss worse than a sailor. (I usually say "cuss" instead of "curse." For some reason, I think of "curse" as being more like a bad spell you put on someone, or that Judas was cursed for having betrayed Jesus. "Cuss" is more like Yosemite Sam ... which I do a pretty good imitation of, by the way.)

BUT!!!!! today I found an article LiveScience article on FoxNews that makes me feel at least not so bad about cussin'. It turns out that cussin' helps the body deal with pain (picture the little toe stub we've all done while making the bed), as well as originating in the right side of the brain, whereas language production normally occurs in the left hemisphere. It is believed that swearing provoked by pain is connected with our "flight-or-fight" response.

Here's the story (emphasis added):

Swearing Makes You Feel Less Pain

That muttered curse word that reflexively comes out when you stub your toe could actually make it easier to bear the throbbing pain, a new study suggests.

Swearing is a common response to pain, but no previous research has connected the uttering of an expletive to the actual physical experience of pain.

"Swearing has been around for centuries and is an almost universal human linguistic phenomenon," said Richard Stephens of Keele University in England and one of the authors of the new study. "It taps into emotional brain centers and appears to arise in the right brain, whereas most language production occurs in the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain."

Stephens and his fellow Keele researchers John Atkins and Andrew Kingston sought to test how swearing would affect an individual's tolerance to pain.

Because swearing often has an exaggerating effect that can overstate the severity of pain, the team thought that swearing would lessen a person's tolerance.

As it turned out, the opposite seems to be true.

The researchers enlisted 64 undergraduate volunteers and had them submerge their hand in a tub of ice water for as long as possible while repeating a swear word of their choice.

The experiment was then repeated with the volunteer repeating a more common word that they would use to describe a table.

Contrary to what the researcher expected, the volunteers kept their hands submerged longer while repeating the swear word.

The researchers think that the increase in pain tolerance occurs because swearing triggers the body's natural "fight-or-flight" response.

Stephens and his colleagues suggest that swearing may increase aggression (seen in accelerated heart rates), which downplays weakness to appear stronger or more macho.

"Our research shows one potential reason why swearing developed and why it persists," Stephens said.

The results of the study are detailed in the Aug. 5 issue of the journal NeuroReport.

I wonder if swearing at idiots in traffic is part of that "flight-or-fight response" ... I better work on not swearing so much, especially since school is starting up again in a couple of weeks. (I always worry about slipping with a little expletive in front of the kiddos.)

Eric Bibb: Happy Music Find of the Summer!!!

My favorite instrument has always been the acoustic guitar played in just about any style. But, blues is one of my favorites. Now, you mix that with some nice wine, and that's a great combination there!

Last month I made one of my best music discoveries! I'm probably a Johnny-Come-Lately; but, I thought I would share this just in case you haven't heard of this fabulous singer, songwriter, and musician. He's Eric Bibb, and here's a bit of background information from his official website :

Eric was born In New York into a musical family. Eric's father, Leon Bibb, is a trained singer who sang in musical theatre and made a name for himself as part of the 1960's New York folk scene. His uncle was the world famous jazz pianist and composer John Lewis, of the Modern Jazz Quartet. Family friends included Pete Seeger, Odetta and actor/singer/activist Paul Robeson, Eric's godfather.

Eric was given his first steel-string guitar aged seven. By Junior High School, Eric was consumed by music. "I would cut school and claim I was sick" said Bibb. "When everyone would leave the house I would whip out all the records and do my own personal DJ thing all day long, playing Odetta, Joan Baez, The New Lost City Ramblers, Josh White."

At 16 years old, Eric's father invited him to play guitar in the house band for his TV talent show "Someone New". Eric's early musical heroes were from his father's band, and included Bill Lee, (father of director Spike) who appeared on Eric's album Me To You, years later.

In 1969, Bibb played guitar for the Negro Ensemble Company at St. Mark's place in New York and went on to study Psychology and Russian at Colombia University. "After a while it just didn't make much sense at all. I didn't understand why I was at this Ivy League School with all these kids who didn't know anything about what I knew about." Aged 19, Eric left for Paris, where a meeting with guitarist Mickey Baker focused his interest in blues guitar.

You wouldn't believe how I found him! One day last month I was in Target looking at radio/speaker systems. All the display systems on the shelves had red buttons in front that allowed the customer to push and listen to a sample of music and compare the sound among the candidates. I was considering one from Bose that I could use with my iPod. When I pushed the red button, I was impressed with the quality of the sound; but, my attention was drawn to the music. I thought: "Who is this guy they have playing here? This sounds great!" And, on the screen of the Bose display appeared Bibb's name and face. So, I went home and checked him out on iTunes. I was so thrilled with his music that I downloaded FOUR albums! (I've promised myself to not buy anymore until I've listened enough to these first four to have them about memorized!)

Check out his website and MySpace page. You can listen to a lot of his songs and decide for yourself. You can also find some videos of his on YouTube. Here's one for you to sample ... Enjoy!!

"In My Father's House"


"Spirit I Am"