Office Dynamics: The Triple Talker

Gradually, I've come to realize that there are some individuals who use up way too much oxygen, time and others' patience in expressing their opinions. It's not their opinion per se that I have a problem with, but rather how they have to express the same idea three different ways. There is no list of points and counterpoints used to make a person's case. Instead, it's basically a thesaurus-like answer, expounding on the same thought ad nauseum.

The "Triple Talker" seems to be one of these individuals that, first of all, is really into feelings and has the need to make sure you know about his or her feelings. I guess you could say they're a bit of an "emo" to begin with. Or, as a fellow teacher calls them, they're a bit of a "LAM" -- "Look At Me! Look At Me!"

I have a colleague who has said on several occasions that "feelings are real." This is true, but one must also be careful to not allow emotions to get the best of us. They must be balanced with reason. My colleague is a prime example upon whom I have based my impromptu "study" of Triple Talkers. She is a hypochondriac who is also easily offended and frightened. So, her feelings are frequently aired. Based on her and other "triple talkers" I know, my "study" shows that being a bit of a hypochondriac and/or a Drama Queen seems to go hand-in-hand with the Triple Talker's quirkiness.

Allow me to give you a sample discourse of a Triple Talker. Picture a department meeting where a simple point is up for discussion. For example, here's a fairly harmless and non-controversial topic -- "Shall we switch from regular to decaf coffee?" The average person will simply state his preference, maybe following up with a quick reason why. However, the Triple Talker will give an opinion, and then belabor the point. Let's contrast them:

Boss: "Shall we switch from regular to decaf coffee?"

Efficient Talker: "I vote for decaf. I've been rather stressed lately, so it might help me calm down."

Triple Talker: "If we truly need to change the type of coffee we're presently using, assuming that's OK with everyone, because we don't want anyone feeling left out of this decision-making process, because we're a democracy, you know ... It's just that, personally ... now, I'm saying anyone else has to feel the same way I do ... it's just that I feel as if switching to decaf could open us up to some other potential problems. They say that decaf coffee uses a process that could contain carcinogenic chemicals, and that's very scary. There are so many things in our environment these days that it makes you wonder if there's a connection. I mean, if I drink decaf coffee, will I die? Will I get cancer? Could I possibly pass on cancer to my children? Cancer -- that's scary. I dunno. That's what I feel. Will we be opening ourselves up to cancer? I just don't know if I can make that decision for everyone else ...."

And, of course, the Triple Talker continues on a bit longer, perhaps giving an actual opinion or decision, but belaboring the point so pitbull-like that the rest of the department members are reduced to immature eye-rolling and sighing, worrying that they might get cancer just from Triple Talker's never-ending, inane diatribe, silently screaming inside "Just make your friggin' point and move on!!! Gaaaawwd!!!"

So, what can a person do when caught up in the vortex of a Triple Talker's "LAM discourse?" I would suggest executing a quick, smooth interruption into TT's stream of conscientiousness with a quick validation of TT's feelings (that should give them a momentary rush of glee), and stealthily swerve the conversation back to its original point and focus. For example: "Gee, TT, I know what you mean about that cancer scary part about decaf coffee, but maybe if we look at it from the idea of ..." AND JUST KEEP GOING! Steer that car back onto the road, maybe deftly throwing the discussion ball back into Efficient Talker's court. Hopefully, he'll pick up on the pass as sharply as the best high school forward and run like mad towards the discussion's basket and slam dunk a point that will force the department decision -- no overtime required!!